Today, we are living longer lives, and have choices now as never before about how we will age. What will make us happy? What are we frightened of, and what might allay those fears? What changes, made right now, will help us to flourish as we age? This book contains lessons I’ve learned from thirty years of working with older people and those close to them. It looks at problems that can be fixed with tests and tablets, and problems that require a different sort of medicine. I explain what I have been taught about loss, about impossible families, about becoming older without children, and the important things I have learned about sexuality, race, love, and living with uncertainty.